The skipper spoke only broken English so there was little to do but avoid getting seasick. It wasn’t so bad this time. Four hours later he could see the dot on the horizon get larger and larger, finally approaching a sandy beach with people waiting.The boat couldn’t go up on the beach so Joshua took off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs to wade the rest of the way in. The boat crew, clad in loincloths, had no such issues as they unloaded his things and the supplies the islanders needed. They would take back the few things that could be made there in exchange.As he approached the islanders, Joshua wasn’t surprised that they were topless. But they were bottomless too! The entire small group were females wearing only some flower crowns as well as necklaces and other decorations made from wood, shells, and coral. None of those covered much of their bodies.A younger woman stepped forward, her breasts moving as she walked and strongly tempting his gaze. He was thankful that pubic hair. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to death. I could be in my car driving in traffic to work, and suddenly this overwhelming ache would move up my shoulders, up the back of my neck and culminate in floods of tears. I’d arrive at work only to tell them I couldn’t cope and then drive home. I’d be working with the kids in the classroom and suddenly tears would stream down my face. I’d.
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